Love Came Home Late Last Night and Fell Asleep in Front of the Television

by S.A. Griffin

love wanders down

streets

sometimes crowded

sometimes empty

and dying

love staggers blind in a drunken rage

wages wars and

hunts for answers

afraid of being

left alone

it is penance for those that

cannot

live with themselves

only

it is a bad cookbook

and a nasty bout of the flu

that keeps coming back stronger each time

it enters the room and announces itself

calls itself

friend and lover

forgets to call or write after it is

gone

but never really forgotten

love is running for president

and starring in the new fall line up on

every bad comedy invention

it is a musical comedy nightmare on

4 weeks

2 legs

and one eye in the back of its head

winking in the rain

dancing to the frantic

rhythms of

I want you now

and

don't you know how I really feel

and why don't you love me?

love is homeless and

out of work

with too many children in need of a

place to stay

and no matter what the

question

love is still

the

only

answer

Waiting

The days are moving slowly but they are moving.

Still no work. So I fill my time with calling Central Casting and trying to get on jobs, with reading, knitting, eating and sleeping, cleaning, watching Big Love, and lots of hanging out with Mollie, Mitchell and Jess W.

Recently me and M and M went out to Barnsdall Park which is right down the street. We went in time for the sunset. Its a small little park with the Hollyhock House in it (Frank Lloyd Wright) we took photos and explored. I love my neighborhood!

So I've been missing my gardening very much and I was talking about it to M and M. So we all thought, why not chip in together to get a community garden plot? So we did our research and went checking those out too. Hopefully we can make it happen. It would be wonderful. Especially right now when I really have nothing to do.

Not everything is good though. More issues with the guy downstairs. Jess is seeing a guy who's in Australia so she talks to him at late hours. I let her know about the sound issues from before and here they are resurfaced. The guy downstairs can hear her talking...they had an argument last night. I didnt get any sleep. Im stressed because I really dont want to have to move out. Hopefully this can somehow be remedied but honestly there's not much I can do about it...I cant fix the problem, just like when I couldnt fix it with Tom.

Recovery

The teeth have for the most part returned to normal, at least the ones that had already come out of my gums. The one impacted tooth, the side that was all chipmunky, continues to hurt because the cut they had to do in order to get the tooth out has left the root to the tooth next to it exposed. So there's some pain there, particularlywhenever I work out actually... But Im hoping thatwith a week or two of healing everything will return to normal.

No calls from the DGA so Im still sittin at home doing a combination of the following things: knitting, watching Big Love (on season 2 currently), eating (there's a bit too much of that going on), playing the Sims, reading, working out and occasionally talking to Josh. On certain days I have fun outings with Jessica, like today when we went to swing dancing, came home made dinner and watched X files and other days, like yesterday, when me Mollie and Mitchell headed down first to Beverly Hills and then onward to Venice Beach. Venice beach was intense. It was Saturday so it was just a swarm of people riding bikes and walking dogs. Crazy but lots of fun.

Swing dancing is a blast. I absolutely love Sunday and Mondays now and I have to say Im completely enamored with Lindy Hop. Absolutely love it! I love when you get a partner that really knows what they're doing and actually leads. Theres nothing like feeling that "just right" amount of pressure that tells you exactly what you should be doing. Im all smiles when I go. I really do think that my heaven is some combination of a dance floor, my bed and lots of food.

And while Im sure all of this sounds fun to everyone I am currently making ZERO money. Which is bad, very, very bad. I'm ready to move on and get to that next show. So from now on most of my posts are probably going to be some form of me begging and pleading for the DGA to call me with my next assignment.

4:30am

So having these wisdom teeth removed has wreaked havoc on my immune system and 3 days later I came down with some sort of illness. I find it funny that when I worked all 64 days on Sunshine I didnt get sick, not even when people around me were walking around with a walking pneumonia but, the second I stop working I instantly get slammed with illness. I guess its to make up for all that time of being well... This is the 3rd cold/flu since the show ended.

So I woke up at around 430A in a cold sweat. My pajamas were just drenched and so were my sheets for the most part. I was so hot I apparently ended up sweating like crazy and then woke up freezing because of that. Moreover the illness and the wisdom teeth have been a ridiculous double whammy where the pressure from my sinus is creating some mad crazy pain on the chipmunky side of my face.

Ive had to not only wake up, strip my bed and put on new sheets and all new pajamas but then when I tried to get warm I found it impossible so I just went and took a 15 min hot shower. Now Im back in bed, finally warm, but the pressure on my face is driving me insane, that and I cant breathe very well. I HATE being sick.

All this says to me is that this is just ANOTHER reason for me to go back to work.

Chipmunk

Its over! Wisdom teeth are all gone now.

I dont remember a thing from the procedure which is wonderful and also, even though I only paid for them to remove two teeth, they did all three because the dentist assumed that I must be having them all removed! So hurray for, sorta stealing? Hey...after the fact I wasnt gonna say nuthin about it.

The experience was definitely terrifying. Once I got to my chair and the overwhelming noises of drilling (the UCLA dental school just has a big room where everyone has a cubicle for their patient so no separate rooms) and then seeing all the crazy shit they were going to be using on my mouth on a tray sorta overwhelmed me.

I sat down in the chair and they tried to put in the IV at my elbow crease and for some reason failed. Apparently, I have a shady vein there that appeared to be a good one but in fact was not. So then instead they painfully put the damn thing at my wrist. At this point another woman was putting all the heart monitors on me and that tubey thing that goes in your nose. This is where the panic set in and I started crying. Not like crazy sobbing but I was definitely freaking out a little bit.

The dentist told me I needed to calm down before he could give me the meds so I told myself I needed to relax. He asked me if I was allergic to anything at that point too because apparently I was getting all red and splotchy with hives. I told him that Ive never been allergic to anything before and that I was just freaking out because I hate dentists since they worked on many of my teeth without anesthetic in communist Poland.

I relaxed, they gave me the meds and I have no freakin clue what went on after that. It felt incredibly fast. I remember at some point he did show me one of my teeth that was apparently strange and hook-like and was therefore difficult to get out. Im assuming this was the one on the right, the one they had to cut in to get because thats the side of my face that is swollen to all hell and theres this sore spot on the outside like someone was gripping my face really hard.

And that was it! I "woke" (I dont ever remember going to sleep) with wads of gauze in my mouth and the dentist giving me a perscription. It was really difficult to swallow. I walked out of there slightly woozy but not enough to even have a drunk walk. Then it was off to the pharmacy.

By the time me and Juliana made it across town through traffic the anesthetic had worn off and I was starting to writhe a bit from the pain while we waited for my vicodin. I got an ice pack, the meds and headed home.

I scarfed down yogurt, took my vicodin, and waited. It was awful. I started crying cause everything hurt and I just felt miserable. After an hour of not feeling any different I took another half of a vicodin and after about 10 more min Ashley M. said that it was ok to take 2 of them so I took the other half. About 10 minutes after that I finally started feeling relief.

Since then its been ok. The pain was minimal this morning. Though the bleeding on one side is pretty bad. I only have chipmunk face on that side :)

So happy that its over.

SWING SCHEDULE!

Hells yeah! I drafted my swing schedule! I wasn't joking about all this dance business peeps! I went scouring the internets and found 2 dance studios that work with my stupid stupid DGA schedule or lack there of and 1 probable. Even if the 1 probable doesn't work out Im not too disappointed since the others are a total go!

Pasadena Ballroom Dance

They happen to be the place where all the swinging cats in LA hang out. Over the course of my research I found that much goes on in the way of swing dancing in Pasadena so... it's wonderful that their schedule meshes with mine because not only will I be getting to know the people on the scene I'm sure this will also help find out where else to go to get more out of swingin' in LA.

Sunday 4:15-515 Jitterbug and East Coast Swing!

The best freakin kind of swing there is! Fast and loose! So I have to drive 30 minutes to get there....thats the sacrifice of the schedule...This is the one class that I know 100% I can make EVERYTIME no matter what. So Im paying for the 6 week course this Sunday (hopefully the wisdom teeth will have cleared up by then).

Now here are the Saturday times that get a little wonky because of DGA Trainee Seminars

Saturday 10-11A Pasadena offers a Lindy Hop Course!

Waking up that early on Saturdays when Im not working--piece of cake- I'll be going this weekend (again pending the okay-ness of the teeth). But getting up that early after working a 70 to 80 hr work week? Not so much...

Oh, and if I dont want to drive out the 30 minutes so early I can do the Lindy course on Monday nights (this is of course the Im not working option). And again if Im not working I can go on Wednesday to mess around with some West Coast swing as well! Pasadena Ballroom you're a gold mine!

West Adams Studios- Right down the street from me!!!

Swing Level 1 Drop in classes for 10$ each on Saturdays 12-1

I'll be able to make these every other Saturday because of trainee seminars but you bet your freakin ass Im going! Its so close to me and totally affordable.

And there's the Culver City place that offers Swing on Saturdays from 3-4 but the classes are consecutive and may be difficult to work around since I wont be able to attend every week because of the seminars. The consecutive is what kills it...

But Im so excited! I will be swing dancing once again...oo I cant wait!

For Relaxing Times...

I love waking up whenever the fuck I want. Its like a magical fairy has visited me. I wake up, under piles of blankets of course, with Alfred (my space heater) lovingly warming me and I lay there savoring the fact that not only do I A)not have to be anywhere but also B) I can do whatever the hell I want.

The majority of today was spent futilely running around town after books and things. After drafting my 50 list I really had the urge to find used bookstores around town. Sadly, I forgot that its freakin New Year and so many places were closed. I don't really NEED to go running around town looking for places considering the fact that an amazing freakin used bookstore is walking distance from me on Franklin (Im referring to Counterpoint) but since they were closed I went in search of others in Glendale. Brand Books was also closed but looked AMAZING and I fully intend to return and then across the street was a place called Mystery and Imagination Bookshop, which with such an amazing name, was not AS cool as I would have liked. I had a hard time finding the things I wanted... their "sectioning" was kind of confusing.

Needless to say I went there, then visited the Glendale Goodwill where I found quite a decent copy of Middlesex for 2 bucks and then went to the Glendale Galleria to swap out these tights for earrings at their Claires. While there I also retardedly bought 16$ worth of Godiva. OK sue me I'm weak for chocolate....I regretted it later...

Oh! A couple days ago I went to the Out of the Closet near me and found some amazing stuff! I've been wanting wine glasses and you could not believe my luck! I found these:

I'm fairly certain that they're at least from the 50's...They were all grimey and gross, but I saw through it :) And after a good washing they came out beyond beautiful! They have this incredible gold leaf edging that's roses. SO happy. Total cost? 9$.

Also found this incredible old reference book published in 1950 titled "Year: Mid Century Edition." It covers the mid-century in photographs and short blurbs and is so amazing! Fantastic coffee table book if anything. Granted, I'm reading the thing and I think I'll get a lot out of it. It's a different way of learning history; shows a lot of what people thought of the events then rather than now with all the years of distance. Also lots of random little tidbits that don't really make it into our history books. You know, stuff that was considered important then that didnt really carry over til now.

What else?

Mollie's on her way to LA! Cant wait til she gets here (Thursday).

Jessica (my new roommate) gets here on Wednesday! Also can't wait for that.

Getting my wisdom teeth removed on Tuesday...eish...terrified.

Loving my iphone! It really is life changing.

Waiting for a call from Janet...come on DGA place me place me!

Thats the news peeps. Thats the news.

50 Book Challenge

There's no better way to start the year than with challenging yourself. So call it a New Years resolution of sorts.

This idea was stolen from Ashley M. and her blog and slightly adapted for my own purposes.

THE CHALLENGE

I have drafted a list of 50 books I know that I would like to read. Of these 50 books I will read at least 30 in the next coming year. That's it, that's the challenge. I'm sure I'll discuss each book as I finish it here so you can keep up with my progress if you like. And now for the list:

1 Beatrice and Virgil - Yann Martel

2 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

3 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

4 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky

5 The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand

6 Let The Right One In - John Ajvide Lindqvist

7 The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway

8 Sophie's Choice - William Styron

9 The Satanic Verses - Salman Rushdie

10 The Magus - John Fowles

11 God is Not Great - Christopher Hitchens

12 Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides

13 The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson

14 The Girl Who Played With Fire - Stieg Larsson

15 The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest - Stieg Larsson

16 The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins

17 Catching Fire - Suzanne Collins

18 Mockingjay - Suzanne Collins

19 Hero - Robin Mckinley

20 Bonk - Mary Roach

21 Eating Animals - Jonathan Safran Foer

22 Manifesta - Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards

23 Second Nature: A Gardeners Education - Michael Pollan

24. The Strain - Guillermo Del Toro

25 Eat Pray Love - Elizabeth Gilbert

26 The Enormous Room - e. e. cummings

27. Sylvia Plath: Method and Madness - Edward Butscher

28 The Ethics of Ambiguity - Simone De Beauvoir

29 The World Without Us - Alan Weisman

30. Under the Banner of Heaven - Jon Krakauer

31. Through A Glass Darkly - Karleen Koen

32. Steppenwolf - Hermann Hesse

33. The Piano Teacher - Janice Y. K. Lee

34. The Gendered Society - Michael Kimmel

35. The Second Sex - Simone De Beauvoir

35. The Feminine Mystique - Betty Friedan

36 The Purity Myth - Jessica Valenti

37. What to Eat - Marion Nestle

44. The Hangmans Daughter - Oliver Pötzsch and Lee Chadeayne

45. The Beauty Myth - Naomi Wolf

38. Orlando - Virginia Wolf

39. Mrs. Dalloway - Virginia Wolf

40. A Room of Ones Own - Virginia Wolf

41. Survival of the Prettiest - Nancy L. Etcoff

42. The Passion - Jeanette Winterson

43. Middlemarch - George Eliot

44. The Shining - Stephen King

45 The Thirteenth Tale - Diane Setterfield

46 The Drowned Life - Jeffrey Ford

47. A Murderous Procession - Ariana Franklin

48. The World According to Monsanto - Marie-Monique Robin

49. Beautiful Creatures - Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

50. Spook - Mary Roach